Monday, October 26, 2009

Let the Naysayers Ruin Their Own Lives By Mark Yarrobino

Mark Yarrobino

One of the most common problems I see - if not the single most common problem - that stops people from pursuing their goals toward a better life comes when they have to deal with the opinions of those around them. Their friends and family.


You see, anytime you try to make a change in your life, something to improve your life, that means that you're going to have to step outside of your comfort zone at some point. And that means doing something that you're not used to doing. Doing something that isn't common.


And that can be a bit frightening.


And it's frightening for the people you know, as well. They're afraid of change, and so they're probably a little scared for your well being, too.


And that's all well and good, but it's often taken way too far. They project their fear of change onto you, and say whatever they have to to keep you from going through with it.


You see, most people don't like change. They don't like for things to be different than what they're used to. They think that anything that's out of the ordinary is 'crazy' or 'weird' or whatever. The only thing that matters is that you fall in line and follow orders.


For some reason, they think that tradition and the status quo are the only way. Well, to that point I call bull shit. The fact is that everything that is traditional was once new, and I'll bet that when it was new back then, there were traditionalists at the time talking about how they don't like that newfangled thingamajig.


So why wouldn't you take a chance on something new? I've written before about how failure is a good thing, and even necessary, as long as you're smart about it. As long as you have a plan for what happens next. As long as you're prepared for both the worst case and the best case scenario.


Another problem that the naysayers have is that they don't much care for anyone else to be successful. There's an intense amount of jealousy out there in the world, and it manifests itself in the form of some folks trying to sabotage anyone else's happiness. Why, I'll never know.


In my opinion, that's just about the worst thing you can do in life. To ruin someone else's dreams because you're too scared to do anything about your own situation, and too jealous to allow it in another.


But, back to you. Why would you let someone else's fear and jealousy turn into your own fear of change? I know that a lot of these people will be close to you, and that you will value their advice. But if you're dealing with the type of person who wants to sabotage your success, then you have to do something about it.


The first thing I recommend doing is showing them your cleverly thought out plan, and letting them know that you're prepared with fallback options should anything go wrong, and that you're also prepared for if things go right.


For example, if you're looking to get into a different line of work, show them that you're updating your resume, speaking with job placement specialists, going on interviews, making sure you get a new job before quitting your old one. Things like that. A schedule, if you will. And for a lot of people, that will convince them.


But if it doesn't, and if they're dead set on sabotaging you no matter what, then I recommend ignoring them, or even cutting them off. At least, on this issue. Because, frankly, what good is it doing you to let them poison your development?


I say that as long as you approach any change intelligently, with a plan for each step, and contingency plans should anything not go exactly right, then you're the most qualified person to make these decisions for yourself. Not anyone else, and especially not anyone who's going to be working against you and trying to put you down.


Let them ruin their own lives. Make yours a success.


Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=421884&ca=Self

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